I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
