I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Randomize
