This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
