His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
