Who wears a wallet chain?!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
