He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
