And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
