Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
