She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
