Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
