3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im holly from the hills drunk
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Someone signed my nipple.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
