Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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