Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
