i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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