these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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