Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
