I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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