You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
