The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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