You're my little dorito
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
