After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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