I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's blow job season.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
