Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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