i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
