On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i believe in u and ur pee
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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