I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
