I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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