Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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