she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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