FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
