You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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