Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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