I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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