Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You can't just leave with hair like that
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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