Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
