me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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