Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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