I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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