I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
