Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's never too late to be topless.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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