she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
