ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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