oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
