I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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