There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
