I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
