I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
