Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
