are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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