Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
