I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
