dude i'm inner monologue high
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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