is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
