You're completely useless in the revolution.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
