Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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