Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
