we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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