im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
