We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
