Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
