just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
