I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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