Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
