Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
