She is in my trunk
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
