well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
