When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
