It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
