Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
