You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
