airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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