You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
