i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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